falathrim

 I don't want to be human! I want to see gamma rays! I want to hear x-rays, and I- I want to- I want to smell dark matter! I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws, and feel the solar wind of a supernova flowing over me!

I'm a machine, and I can know much more.

 Fuck the Yankees.

That is all.

There's a certain point where further procrastination becomes completely infeasible. I call that point "Stacie got it done before I did." Disgraceful. Absolutely disgraceful.

Alright, so it's late. Even thought I'm not completely thrilled with the writing quality here, I need to get to bed and I know I'll just start over if I look at this tomorrow. So I'm posting.


( Science, Eärendil, Túrin, Manwë, Gaeta )

*INSERT RANT ABOUT PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET NOT GETTING MITOCHONDRIAL EVE*

Stephanie: Essentially the science version of Adam and Eve? :p
Michael: KIND OF like science's Adam and Eve except really really metaphorical.
Stephanie: right
Stephanie: well
Michael: Plus that suggests science has dogma. :P
Stephanie: the "real" adam and eve was metaphorical too
( Read more on Reverend Bellecourt's insightful thoughts on this subject behind the cut! )

KNOWING THAT:

1. Time is perceived differently in Valinor than it is in Middle-earth, AKA the world as we know it.
2. This difference in time perception is such that exactly one hundred forty-four years here is perceived as one year there.
3. The mechanism in which time is perceived differently is known as time dilation.
4. Time dilation is a function of general relativity, and occurs with enormous changes in velocity relative to the constant speed of light in a vacuum, c.
5. Calculating time dilation is actually so easy an undergraduate could do it!

Assume that Elves are running at "proper time," or ⌂t. As we experience a time dilation factor of 144.0000, we set ⌂t to 1 and ⌂t' to 144. From there, it's a bunch of basic algebra as we solve for v, or the velocity of a stationary dweller of Middle-earth relative to that of a stationary Elf in Valinor. Input our data...


...and there we have it. We are experiencing a dilation factor of 298749698.5.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

Assume that it takes the typical Adan three-fourths of a second to walk a meter; that is, he walks at a pace of 0.75 s/m. To obtain the velocity, simply take the reciprocal of that value: 1.333 m/s. Divide this number by our dilation factor to determine the actual velocity of an Elf, from our perspective, who believes himself to walking at the exact same pace.


Now, please excuse me if I cannot obtain a firm grasp on just how slow this Elf must be moving. Let's convert back to seconds per meter, and then crunch that number down into something more meaningful.


...seven years to walk one meter. My gods, Elves are full of phail.

EDIT: I suppose it would be fair to point out that 1 meter to an Elf would be 289,749 kilometers to us over here in Middle-earth due to Lorentz contraction. But, on the other hand, that's only because Lorentz contraction causes that Elf to expand in the direction in which he's travelling. Ergo, Elves in Valinor are 298749698 times fatter than they are in Middle-earth.

On the plus side, the only weigh 1/298749698th as much as they do over here.

Relativity is screwy.

EDIT 2: Fuck LJ Cuts.

Taking ethics training today. Came across this.

"The word ethics comes from the greek ETHIKA, meaning "custom" -- as in how we normally or should treat one another; the word morals comes from the latin MORES, meaning "custom" -- as in how we normally or should treat one another. For the past 2000 years, ethicists and philosophers have been trying to differentiate between the two and in fact many use them interchangeably."

What the Christ. It's the same fucking word!

“From here, southward along the Hithæglir, onward to Calenarðon. It shall be in the shadows of Minas Anor that we shall unite with Gondor’s armies. Once organized, we must surely retake Ithilien from the Enemy.”

( They had gathered in the Angle... )

Let's be honest here; we know next to nothing about Eärendil. The chapter within The Silmarillion was mostly based upon the text of the first Quenta Silmarillion, found in HoMe V. This dates to around the 1930s; a good twenty or so years earlier than the material that Christoper used to write just about the rest of the published Silmarillion. The first Quenta Silmarillion was barely more than a scheme or an outline, and because of this we know jack about the life of, arguably, the most important of all Incarnates.

The following is an outline that incorporates details from HoMe II: The Book of Lost Tales, Part Two. The texts within this volume are, undisputably, those that go into the most details regarding Eärendil -- and yet, incredibly, they're still only outlines! So why did put it together?

Because, even if its validity is highly debatable, I still wanted to know more about the life of one of my favorite characters in the drama of Arda. This scheme is tantamount to fan fiction. It has a loosely legitmate basis, but I think you'll see why I doubt it was Tolkien's final vision on the matter after you've given it a read. That said, it is probably the best shot at understanding Eärendil's life that we have available to us.

This is, by the way, the first time I've posted this online. Enjoy.( Eärendil was a mariner... )

Michael: You DARE claim that Emperor Fëanor would be more awesome than Emperor Palpatine?!
 rhaella : yes
Michael: You're fucked up.
rhaella:
Michael: If Palpatine and Fëanor switched places...
rhaella: the empire would have self destructed much sooner XD

( Even the Fëanor fans admit I got this one pegged. )

OVirginSaint: I like [Varda] for one thing
OVirginSaint: inadvertently kicking down the "keep out" ward to the west that the Valar put up.
Michael: XP
Michael: Yay inadvertent actions!
OVirginSaint: it was a dumb thing to put up in the first place
Michael: I don't like the Valar.
Michael: At least I used to like Varda... she had such soft, silky, beautiful blue hair...
Michael: And... uhhh... she made stars.
OVirginSaint: she made shinies >.>
OVirginSaint: *stuffs Feanor back into the closet*
Michael: It takes a lot more power to make stars then it does to make a little wind, Eruspammit!
Michael: I'd like to see MANWË kick-start a multi-billion year fusion process!
OVirginSaint: XD
Falathrim: MICHAEL: Killing the magic of Tolkien, one science factoid at a time.
OVirginSaint: hmm Varda with a labcoat and glasses...
OVirginSaint: hawt <3
Michael: XD
Michael:OMG I think I like Varda again.
OVirginSaint: Manwe: Whatcha doing wife? I'm boooooored. Varda: Oh, you know. Star making. Takes a long time.
OVirginSaint: XD
OVirginSaint: Manwe: Starmaking? that's BORING. Varda: Can you do it? Manwe: ..erm...no. Varda: Shut up and go play with your birds then.
Michael: XD

And this, mind you, is why I'm still okay with Varda, despite her being a complete fucking bitch.

I don't even KNOW what's going on here...

Michael: See, I only know about Fëanoriel because I have an aunt who has a friend who has a brother who has a wife who has a friend who knows Chris, so she gets to read the Secret Tolkien Papers.
Michael: All sorts of stuff that the Tolkien Estate won't release in them, like how Legolas had a crush on Durin's Bane.
isasolan : wtfffffffff
isasolan: i want to read the secret papers!
( More exclusive Secret Tolkien Papers information behind the cut! )

Gildor, the confusing-as-fuck Elf that Frodo meets as he carries the One Ring out of the Shire, claims to be a member of the House of Finrod. ovirginsaint and I took it upon ourselves to figure out how this could be possible... with glorious results.

Michael: Gildor confuses me. :/
OVirginSaint: happy happy gildor?
Michael: Gildor Inglorion of the House of Finrod who speaks in riddles and if all Elves are like him I don't think I'd really like hanging around Elves.
OVirginSaint: wait
OVirginSaint: how is he of house Finrod?
Michael: That's part of what confuses me! (bah)
( Confused as I am? Answer within! )

As always, the best quips are courtesy of isasolan :

isasolan: making up a name is hard T__T
Michael:
Michael: I know.
isasolan: lmao
isasolan: i was going to put silver woman..
isasolan: tyelpenis
isasolan: tyelPENIS
Michael: XD
isasolan: *giggles immaturely*
Michael: She'd get along marvelously with her brother-in-law, Teleporno...
Michael: *giggles immaturely*
isasolan: !!!
Michael: *goes to throw into journal*

Okay, there's nothing I like more than helping people write book reports or form presentations or whatever without reading the book. After all, reading is boring, I agree completely. So, this in mind, I've summarized the major plot points of The Silmarillion for you, and provided some discussion points at the end.

Túrin Turambar, my favorite character in the drama of Arda, gets just about zero love for anyone else it seems. There are reasons for this, of course; he was kind of an asshole, and everything he touched turned to fail. However, that's never the justification I hear -- and often times people LOVE the characters that have incredibly similar personalities and backgrounds. Watch, in fact, as rhaella struggles to cope with becoming aware of this. ;)

 

So, ages and ages ago, Kate and rhaella had a wicked awesome convo about the nature and relationship between Eru Ilúvatar, Manwë Súlimo, and Melkor the Morgoth. I know jackshit about this convo, on account of rhaella's Gaia journal now being set to private.Pity, pity. I CAN say, however, that at some point I followed the conversation to its logical conclusion, and from said conclusion arose the following "ficlets."

( Chapter 1: Ainulindalë )

~*~

( Chapter Two: Of the Nirnaeth Arnoediad )

( Chapter 3: The Lay of Leithien, or Why Lúthien Is Considered the Greatest of All Elves )

VOYAGE OF EÄRENDIL in a nutshell.

*the Exiles of Gondolin and Doriath come to the Havens*

EÄRENDIL: You're cute.
ELWING: So are you. Even if we're both still kids and shouldn't be starting romances yet.
EÄRENDIL: This is a nutshell. Michael is condensing things.
ELWING: Ah, I see.

*Eärendil and Elwing are wed*

( Go on, keep reading. I dare you. )

A quick convo, courtesy of isasolan and Kate.

Kate: The secret of Pac-man is far too profound for our simple mortal minds
isasolan: yeah... you must be right
isasolan: we should ask manwe
Kate: haha
Michael: If a secret is too profound for our simple mortal minds, I'm sure that Manwë thinks it has something to do with doggy poo.
Kate: XD
Kate: Manwe's great like that
isasolan: manwe will just say he needs to talk to eru
isasolan: then he will make a fool out of himself
Michael: And then instead of doing so, he will compose his Grand Theory of Doggy Poo.
Michael: He will then declare it as the Word of Eru.
isasolan: yes!
Michael: Coincidentally, the number of atheists shall rise exponentially that night.
Kate: XD

So before Dragon Quest VIII was released, I joined a community called Slime Knights. The community gave away prizes in exchange for Mini Medals that you could earn by participating in various activities. I never did earn enough of the medals to actually win anything, but I did write a rather nice little piece. I guess. If it sounds corny, well, it was meant to be.

( The world awaits that cheeful day. )

I think this one speaks for itself. Oh, and for my insanity. Itself and my insanity.



( Oi! Fantine! )